Relationships: He Wants to Have Kids Sooner - as part of the expert series by GeoBeats. Having kids, whether to have them and when to have them, and how many to have, is really one of the biggest decisions a couple can make. The thing that we found with having children is if you have the opportunity to choose, you are really really fortunate. Most births, over half of births are unplanned. And people do not realize that it is a kind of "woops" kind of moment for most people. So, let yourself go ahead and celebrate the opportunity to actually consciously choose with each other. One of the things I want to suggest to you is a whole body learning activity that we have used with many people which is to let yourself separately and then report to each other to step out into the future, and I want to recommend that you want to actually do that standing in a room where you have some space. You let yourself stand in the present and then step out into the future two or three years and look back at the present and say out loud "Boy I am sure glad that we had kids when we did!" And then pause and notice what you notice in your body, whether you get more tense, whether you have a feeling of dread, whether your body opens up with a feeling of elation, your body wisdom is going to give you lots of feedback about this choice. Much more than you can get if you are just trying to think it through. Then when each of you have done that separately and in different rooms, come together and share with each other what you have learned. I want you to also step out into the future and look back into the present and say "Boy, I am sure glad we did not have kids when we did." And then again notice your whole body reaction to that whether your breath stops or you have some fear that comes up or you might even get an image of something that you were able to do instead of having kids. Those are things that are going to allow you to bring in a deeper kind of wisdom to your decision making. And inevitably, whatever it is you decide is going to be something that I would like both of you to then consciously choose rather than "Ok, I am going to go along with you" because if you go along you are sowing the seeds for conflict that is going to show up later on and it is going to show up in your relationship with your kids as well. So whether you choose to or not to, let it be something that you explore separately, and then you decide together.
